Melissa Joy dates
Your Dinner Date
Hungry Adventurer
Singles Wingwoman
Shame Slayer
The Experienced
Platonic Girlfriend Experience
Hi! I'm Melissa Joy
Hello there, curious stranger. You may have stumbled across my photos and snarky comments on social media and wondered, who’s that girl and how can I meet her?
Here’s a bit of my backstory and how I got here: I've been a digital artist for many years working as a photographer and editor. But when I find myself at a cocktail party with a bunch of strangers, what makes me the most interesting person in the room is when I bring up stories from my (no longer secret) other career. It all started about a decade with a curiosity exploring financially compensated companionship. I started working as a professional GFE (“Girlfriend Experience”) escort, which evolved over time as I grew more confident and stepped into my dominance and power. I stopped seeing escort clients and a decade ago started a practice as professional sensual dominatrix and somatic sex educator.
While I no longer offered the traditional ‘Girlfriend Experience’, what I missed about being an escort was the nervous excitement of meeting a stranger with first date jitters, breaking the ice over drinks and relaxing over a great meal.
Getting comfortable enough to swap stories and reveal more of our authentic selves until we were no longer strangers. I felt honored to be their trusted confidante to hold their secrets, many things they had never shared with another person. We shared sense of intimacy beyond anything physical. We bonded over experiences. I felt the most satiated knowing I showed up as my authetic self, gave the gift of real connection to another and lifted their spirit.
My version of the Girlfriend Experience​
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First date energy buzzing with anticipation and curiosity with a whip-smart mature woman who knows what she wants, brings her A-game and has always has a great time. The boundaries of our relationship are well-defined. There's no alternative agenda or "getting down to business"; it's all pleasure.
Admiring the view from the Ritz-Carlton terrace after sampling digestifs and treats at Bellpine restaurant, Portland Oregon
Beyond the One-Night Girlfriend: Intimacy and Relationship Coaching
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​When I was working as an escort, many clients told me the part of date they valued the most wasn't the sex, it was about me being a portal to let them share openly about their issues regarding sex, intimate relationships, loneliness, feeling shame or numb as they didn't have an outlet they could trust to share their concerns. While I'm not a licensed therapist and can't diagnose people, I've done twenty five years of interpersonal work from traditional therapy, somatic (body based) coaching to large group courses. The one common thread I've seen is that sexuality and relationships are the hardest for many people to talk about. Men are least likely to seek counseling yet far more likely to hurt themselves and others. You may just need a compassionate ear to simply listen, or you may want to do practice role-play communication around asking for what you want (asking someone out on a date, what you want in the bedroom, talking to your wife/partner about changing your relationship dynamic.)
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If you're a single having a hard time in the dating scene, I offer 'wingwoman' services as a real-time practice date and connect with women in social settings, bars or clubs (women are generally less threatened when a man approaches them with another woman by their side.) I also offer an online dating profile audit to help you get the best matches and outcome.
Important Questions
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Can we have private time behind closed doors?
First date experiences are all in public.
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When will we have fun?
The whole time!​​
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Can I ask more specific questions and talk to you directly?
Absolutely! Here's my calendar to book a call.
Do you see couples?​​
Yes! Couples have hired me for the wingwoman experience. Specifically, a kink-curious couple wanted to attend an event at one of our local sex-positive spaces but were afraid to go alone as they were shy and new. I helped them curate their wardrobe and items to bring (it was a kink/BDSM themed event) and I did a demonstration on each of them so they could observe and learn. I also introduced them to other couples the at the bar and they made some connections. They loved it!
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What do you like to do on dates?
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Art museum strolls, taking a salsa dance class, sampling a five course Michelin-starred tasting menus before attending the theater or a concert, learning how to roller skate, pre-booking a couples' massage and relaxation at a luxury spa or simply laughing at dad jokes over lattes. I can do the planning and pre-booking so you don't need to lift a finger, or I'm happy to let you curate the evening. The logistics will be discussed before we meet in person. ​​
Who do you like to spend time with?
I want to share my time with other humans who’re respectful, intelligent, big-hearted and generous. If you can make me laugh, you’ve scored extra points. I connect easier with people who are more shy than aggressive. I have no preferences for looks, height, physical abilities, race, sexual orientation, gender identity or age (adults 21 and over.)​
Are you just looking for a boyfriend/partner?
While I'm grateful that I get to have fun at work (getting paid to play, heal and slay!) I also respect our time/compensation boundary that keeps our expectations in check. I'm not looking for anything outside of that.
​​​I'm curious to know more about you. Ready to meet?
I need complete discretion as I'm a married high-profile celebrity. Do I have to screen to book a date?
I am thrilled to inform you sir, that your laptop can remain in your bag, shoes can remain on and I don't need to see your ID. You can remain an international man of mystery forever and I don't even need to know your real name if you don't want to tell me. Since I'm a public/platonic escort, you get the perk of complete privacy and anonymity, I feel safe and we both get to relax and have fun. PSA teaching moment: if you're going to book a reputable sex worker (escort, dominatrix, erotic massage provider or any one-on-one session behind closed doors with a female provider) be prepared to be screened with your real-world information and have references.
I'm a numbers guy, give me some stats
They say age is just a number so I’ll give you a few numbers:
A 70s latchkey kid, an 80s punk rock teen, an experienced wise owl with a 25-year photojournalism career and looks a decade younger than her actual age.
Height: 5’3”
Weight: 130
Dress size: 8
Shoe size: 8.5
Blood pressure: 95/62
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Some other facts:
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Hair: wavy blonde babe in the front, silver CEO in the back
Eyes: Hazel, often bespectacled in cute librarian glasses
Smoking: never. Recreational drugs: rarely
Sign: Scorpio (duh!)
Cheese: Chèvre and manchego
Movie genre: Documentaries
Humor: Dad jokes, Monty Python
Books: Memoirs and non-fiction
Authors: David Sedaris, Steve Almond, Jen Sincero
Podcasts: This American Life, Pivot, The Moth